学习价值，空前绝后！30分满分托福作文赏析

无老师优秀范例：With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on. There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities. I disagree with this opinion.

无老师中文翻译：随着现代人生活标准越来越高，休闲活动对我们来说变得越来越重要了，比如说，逛博物馆，欣赏音乐会，亦或者和朋友去游泳。政府应该对于公众活动有补贴，但是另一些人则认为政府应该将钱投入到艺术馆和音乐厅，而不是投到娱乐设施上。我不同意这个观点。

无老师平庸范例：When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends. The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things. I do not agree with this opinion.

本次的优秀范本原型，是一篇30分托福作文满分考友的习作，学习价值，空前绝后！加牛！！！

不过，-_-！！！无老师这次真的是出手重了一点，平庸范例写完估计幼儿园的小盆友看完都会吐血不止。

无老师精析：当然又是先请出优秀范例：With the improvement of living standard of modern people, leisure activities become more and more important for them, such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.然后从卫生间马桶里找出来平庸范例：When people improve their living level, rest is more and more important to us, for example, going to museum, going to concert, and going to swim with friends.

With the improvement of living standard of modern people，“伴随着…”，想一想，其实很多考友很少用“伴随着”这个表达方式，那么各位考友常用的是什么呢？就是“当….时候”吗，但是实际上，在英语里，就是该用with的这个伴随状态。这就是前几天无老师微博里写的：“优秀的作文不是将中文一对一的翻译成英文，而是要用英语去表达自己的意思”，就是这个意思。

然后接下来，improvement，想一想各位考友最常用的就是他的动词的状态，但是实际上书面语中，只要各位考友注意就会发现，经常故意用这个动词的名词性形式，来表示动词的意思，这个一定是各位考友该学的！然后接下来，“生活标准”用level就不好了，这篇优秀范文中用的是standard，不过其实如果换成quality则更为地道！

leisure activities become more and more important for them，这个部分，则是赤果果的在秀自己的词汇量，没设么可讲的。当然，微博里的一位考友问了more and more important就一定是低分的保证么？很显然不是！这篇满分托福作文就是一个很好的例证。

其后，优秀范例的such as go to the museum, concert, or go to swim with friends and so on.跟平庸范例一样，没什么可讲的。

第二句，就是一个超长的句子“There is no doubt that government should give subsidies to support those public activities, but some people argue that it’s more important for the government to spend money to build art museums and music performance center than to build recreational facilities.”对比平庸范例”The government should give money to the public movement, but other people think the government should provide these money to museums and music center, but not to the rest things.“

优秀范例的There is no doubt that，直译过来是“不可否认”的意思，不过实际上，国内各位考友经常在表达这个意思的时候，直接简单的用Some people think吗！看到这里的时候，无老师相信很多考友一定会心的一笑，O(∩_∩)O~，自己也知道在什么时候换用了。接下来subsidies则是又一次秀了单词量，没什么可解释的。至于“public activities”很显然public谁都会写，但是用activities来表示“活动”则是各位考友该记在自己的小本子里了。

其后，优秀范例的“some people argue”很多考友则认为是“很多人争论”，其实你大错特错了，这里的argue应该是“认为”的意思，因此，以后想用think的时候，是不是该停手，思考一下，马上换为“argue”了^_^。

然后接下来，一个超长的more…than…句型，而平庸范例里写的是“…, but…”怎么样，顿感自己像平庸范例里那个句子有多中式英语了吧：P，然后优秀范例用to do…和to do…进行连接，其实我们在写自己的作文的时候，也就是用do something了吗。

然后同样是“花钱”，优秀范例仅用了一个spend，然后后面分别用了两个to do something，直接搞定，超级简洁！其后的“art museums”，“music performance center”和“recreational facilities”分别对应我们经常写的“museums”“center”和“rest things”，怎么样什么感觉，直接吐血外，加拿小本默默地记下来了吧^_^

and the very lastO(∩_∩)O~，怎么样，又学了一个用法吧。最后一句的disagree远比平庸范例的do not agree简洁得多。

其实从中式英语到地道英语，只是一层膜，一捅即破。关键是看你是否真的用心去积累^_^